Chief Executive Cat of the Ramos Lujan estate. Resident of the Roaring Fork Valley. Notoriously demanding. Strategically affectionate. The following case files have been released for educational purposes only.
Mr. Business has called his weekly investors' summit. He requests your full attention, your itemized agenda, and — if it is not too much trouble — a small dish of the fancy stuff from the bag in the back of the pantry. The one with the gold lettering. He will know if you bring the regular kind.
At 06:14, the subject breached the executive bed perimeter and demanded a face-to-face audit. The lens, the camera, and the photographer have since been classified as "subordinate." Mr. Business does not blink first. The audit is ongoing. Snacks were provided under duress.
After forty-seven minutes of intense whiskered diplomacy, Mr. Business has demanded a recess. The yellow asset (codename: PEEP) has been temporarily acquired pending further review. All inquiries are to be directed in writing to his blanket fortress, and only between the hours of 14:30 and 14:34.
Captured during a routine 03:00 perimeter check. The asymmetric whisker formation suggests a high-alert reconnaissance posture, though external analysts have noted what may, charitably, be described as the face of a gentleman who knows exactly where the treat drawer is and has done the math.
Mr. Business's protégé — known internally as Junior Associate, formally TUX — has reported to the field. Photographic evidence places him inside a discontinued portfolio carrier (Aspen, FY 2019). Training continues. The hat has not been returned. Mr. Business is on record as "tolerating the kid."
Junior Associate was apprehended this morning in a compromising state of self-grooming, having abandoned the day's strategic objectives in favor of an exposed-belly nap on company carpet. Mr. Business has filed a formal complaint. Junior Associate has filed a formal blep. Both filings are under review.
The fiscal year has been long. The quarterly reports are filed. The treats are dispensed. Mr. Business has decided that further productivity, this afternoon at least, is not in the company's best interest. He requests that all future correspondence be slid quietly under the door, and only on cardstock of acceptable weight.
The cat does not work for you. You work for the cat. This has always been the arrangement. Any inquiries to the contrary will be redirected to the carpet.